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Jak
Description Sony VS Microsoft. Two duos whose sidekicks are orange creatures and deal with the supernatural. Will Jak & Daxter redeem themselves, or will they join another combatant who has died at the hands of a bear? Stay tuned! Interlude ( Cue ~ Invader - Jim Johnston) Wiz: The normal relationship with humans and animals is often described as pethood. They often entertain humans, protect them from burglars, and are quite loyal. Boomstick: And when it comes to animal and animal relationships, it's usually predator and prey. But today, one human and animal duo and one animal and animal duo with their annoying, orange sidekick are here to throw down. Wiz: Jak & Daxter, the warriors of Sandover Village. Boomstick: And Banjo-Kazooie, the warriors of Spiral Mountain. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle Jak & Daxter ( Cue ~ Title Screen - Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy) Wiz: Sony has created many characters. These include a psychopathic clown bent on gencide. Others involve, a man tricked by a god to slay his family, a man who was sent to deliver a life-changing package, and other characters include an adorable little puppet with a knack for creation. But one of the most iconic of Sony's creations are Jak & Daxter. Boomstick: Jak was born into royalty from King -''' Wiz: Damas! It's Damas. '''Boomstick: But then some jerk named Baron Praxis overthrew his dad and banished him to the wastelands and Jak became an orphan. Wiz: Luckily for him, he was adopted by Samos, the elder of Sandover Village where he met his friend-to-be, Daxter. While Daxter was definitely an exhaustion, the two quickly became inseparable friends. Boomstick: Then one day, Jak had this idea to explore the forbidden Misty Islands which was forbidden for a pretty good reason. Wiz: There happened to be a group of minions of the Sage of Dark Eco who listened to his plan. Worried, Jak took a step back and accidently knocked Daxter into a pool of Dark Eco which transformed him into an Ottsel. An - Boomstick: Wiz, I know you don't know what an Ottsel is so I'll explain. An Ottsel is basically an otter/weasel hybrid. Wiz: I was gonna say that! Boomstick: Come on, Wiz. I know you like to pretend to be smart, but just face the facts, you're not. Wiz: *Grunts* Anyways, after they told they Samos about Daxter's situation, his first reaction was to keep yapping. Boomstick: But afterwards, he decided to train Jak & Daxter to harness Eco and face the Sage of Dark Eco to return Daxter's transformation. ( Cue ~ Behemoth Air Battle - Jak & Daxter: The Lost Frontier) Wiz: Jak is able to harness Eco and use its abilities depending on the color type. Jak can heal and create shields with Green Eco, shoot yellow fireballs with Yellow Eco, run faster with Blue Eco, and increase strength with Red Eco. Boomstick: Hahaha! I get it! Blue Eco is a reference to how Sonic is blue and runs fast and Red Eco is a reference to how Knuckles is red and super strong! Wiz: But when they tinkered with ancient Precursor Technology, they stumbled into the future. Here, Praxiss captured Jak with the intent of turning him into a super soldier. Boomstick: Why do they need to reuse that formula over and over again? Anyways, Praxis didn't really know what he was doing and Jak was his lab rat for two years until Daxter finally busted him out. Why on earth did it take two years? Wiz: It's complicated. While Praxis' experiments didn't turn him into Sony's Captain America, they did allow him to consume Dark Eco and become the ferocious Dark Jak. Boomstick: Dark Jak is a whole new deal. With Dark Bomb, Jak jumps up into the air and slams the ground down, creating a powerful Dark Eco shockwave affecting anyone in its vicinity. Wiz: However, the Dark Bomb is so powerful, one use will revert Jak to his normal self. He also wields Dark Blast, a move where he jumps up and unleashes arcs of dark eco all over and damages anyone within range. However, like the Dark Bomb, this move also reverts Jak to normal after one use. Boomstick: Good thing he's got the Dark Strike. With this, he can shoot a large, concentrated mass of dark eco at his foe to inflict major damage. And his Invincibility makes him immune to damage. On top of all that, Dark Jak can triple in size and strength. Wiz: But like most heroes, Jak gained a light counterpart to counterbalance the darkness within. Its name is Light Jak. Boomstick: in this form, Jak can stop time with Flash Freeze, glide through the air with Light Flight, heal up with Light Regeneration, and even protect himself with Light Shield. Wiz: When any enemy hits the Light Shield, they take minor damage. Boomstick: But when there isn't enough Dark or Light Eco to blast people with god-like energy, Jak uses one of the most versatile weapons in video game history, the Morph Gun. This baby comes equipped with a drone launcher, minigun, grenade launcher, ricochet rifle, and even an electric Arc Gun. Wiz: And its mass Inverter mode is able to cause the victim to be hit with a beam that makes them experience anti-gravity. Boomstick: But when that fails, they resort to the Super Nova. It pretty much one-shots the sucker who gets hit. ( Cue ~ Intro Theme - Jak X Combat Racing) Wiz: With their insane amounts of weapons and Eco, Jak has dodged gunfire from Sig, obliterated a Precursor robot with Light Eco, and with his Dark Eco, he was able to get up from a cave-in. Boomstick: And in Daxter's case, he's able to steer missiles with no sweat and even managed to infiltrate Praxis' labs. Wiz: However, Jak & Daxter's eco does have a limit to how long it can be used. As the Dark and Light forms use different types of Eco, this makes them temporary as well. Also, Jak can be a bit reckless and doesn't always think things through. On top of all that, Daxter's got a bit of a smart mouth. Boomstick: But when they're all souped up with Eco, you better pray they're not looking for you. Clank: Did that weasel creature just call me a sidekick? Daxter: WEASEL CREATURE?! Jak: Maybe its time someone taught you some manners. Banjo-Kazooie Boomstick: Banjo and Kazooie were two normal friends who lived with Banjo's sister Tooty with out parents. Wiz: Don't even think it. Anyways, one day Tooty and banjo were gonna go out to find some adventure, but he was asleep on that day, Boomstick: Hibernation? Wiz: No. Boomstick: Aww. It was kind of bad timing, too. See, next to them was this witch named Gruntilda who was convinced she was the fairest of them all according to her magic pot. Wiz: I may not know what that pot was being filled with, but it clearly made him crazy since Gruntilda's hideous. Boomstick: If she was as heavy as she is ugly, she'd be as heavy as Wiz's mom! (*Wiz punches Boomstick with robot arm.) Boomstick: Ow! I'm starting to get the feeling that you're doing it on pur-''' Wiz: Clearly the pot wasn't so crazy as he pointed out that Gruntilda is still not the fairest in Spiral Mountain. '''Boomstick: The person who was the fairest was Tooty. Huh, would you look at that? Wiz: The answer to this problem? Kidnap Tooty and use a magic machine to siphon her beauty, of course. Boomstick: So first there's the reused super soldier shtick and now there's the even MORE reused damsel in distress shtick. Wiz: Regardless, after Tooty failed to defend herself, a mole named Goggles said that gruntilda got her, alarming Kazooie to wake up Banjo. Boomstick: After Goggles told the bear-bird duo about the situation, they set off to rescue Tooty from her ugly oppressor before she looked like her. Wiz: To do so, Banjo and Kazooie acquired a special set of moves. Boomstick: With the Beak Buster, Banjo jumps and flips upside side down so that Kazooie can slam down with her beak. The Bill Drill does the same thing only Kazooie spins her beak, which is also great for cracking boulders, but as powerful as it is, using is both difficult and impractical. Wiz: With the Rat-a-tat Rap, Banjo can duck and allow Kazooie to peck enemies, granted they're tall enough to be pecked. Boomstick: With Egg Firing, Kazooie can fire eggs from her mouth or butt. Wait, how does that work? ''' Wiz: I have no idea. '''Boomstick: With the Forward Roll, Banjo can roll into enemies but he can only do so while running. Doesn't that sound like the Spin Attack? Wiz: Kind of. Boomstick: With the Feathery Flap, Kazooie can flap her wings and allow Banjo to get a slight boost. It can also slow Banjo's descent. Wiz: With the Grenade Eggs, Kazooie can use explosive green eggs that can bring Egg Firing to shame. And with the Pack Whack, Banjo can use his backpack as a weapon without hurting Kazooie. Boomstick: They were able to traverse some of the weirdest environments, defeat the weirdest of bosses, and were able to survive L.O.G's tough games. Wiz: But even with their incredible teamwork, they do have some flaws. For one, Banjo can be extremely lazy and doesn't usually do things without motive and Kazooie can be a it to snarky for her own good. Boomstick: How snarky is she, you may ask? Well, one time Banjo and Kazooie met this weird crab thing named Nipper who was gonna help them, but Kazooie's snarky comment rendered him offended, making him into a boss fight. On top of that, Banjo and Kazooie are a lot weaker when split apart. Wiz: Even so, don't count out the duo that is Banjo-Kazooie. Banjo: Yawn...What do you want, Kazooie? Pre-Death Battle Wiz: Alright! The combatants are set. Lets end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Death Battle Jak & Daxter were cruising on their JET-Board throughout the forest when they noticed a little girl and stopped. The little girl known as Tooty screamed, causing Banjo to slam the door open and Kazooie noticed Jak & Daxter. Kazooie: What's going on? Who are these two? Tooty: They almost hit me! Jak: we could've, but we didn't. We honestly didn't even try to. Daxter: Yeah, so lets settle this peacefully. Kazooie: Waht's the matter, you dumb weasel? Scared? That comment pushed Daxter over the edge. Daxter: WEASEL CREATURE!!!??? Jak: Maybe its time someone taught you some manners. Jak readied his fists. Banjo readied his claws. Fight! Jak ran towards Banjo and punched him in the face and then two times in the stomach rapidly. Jak then backed away. Kazooie started firing eggs, but Daxter started hopping off all of them and landed on Banjo's head and lunged towards Kazooie, knocking her off the backpack into the ground. Daxter started throttling Kazooie. Jak gave a roundhouse kick to Banjo, to which Banjo retaliated with a Forward Roll, knocking him into a tree. Jak brought out the Morph Gun and activated the Gyro Burster. The drone started shooting Banjo, and Banjo retaliated by destroying it. Daxter had dragged Kazooie near a rock and starting banging her head on the rock while simultaneously throttling her. Banjo ran towards Kazooie to help her, but was stunned by the Arc Wielder. Jak ran towards Banjo and punched his head, knocking him down. Banjo hit Jak with the Pack Whack three times before grabbing him and pulled a Bane and hit Jak's back with his knee, causing Jak to fall. He started to stumble as he got up but he picked up his footing. Jak: Time to kick it up a notch! Banjo ran towards Jak and used the Forward Roll, but Jak brought out his Green Eco and created a shield to stop the attack while also healing himself. Jak then brought out some Red Eco to boost his strength and started punching Banjo even harder than before, causing the bear to limp back. Jak then brought out his Blue Eco and started running around Banjo, confusing him. Jak then started punching Banjo from all directions. Jak: You can't keep up. Banjo started to run away to help Kazooie, but Jak fired yellow fireballs and stopped Banjo in his tracks. Banjo ran towards Jak and punched him twice in the face before throwing him into a tree. Since Jak's back hit the tree, Jak was in even more pain. Banjo: That'll teach you to mess with my sister! Jak: There's only one thing to make the pain go away. Jak abosrbed Light Eco and became Light Jak and used Flash Freeze to stop time. Jak later started to heal his wounds with Light Regeneration, unfreezed time, and activated Light Shield. Banjo started punching the shield and also hurting himself until Light Jak wore off. Jak: Time to finish this! Jak abosrbed Dark Eco and transformed into Dark Jak. Dark Jak started slashing away at Banjo before knocking him into the rock where Daxter was still throttling Kazooie. Dark Jak: Dax, look out! Daxter heard Jak's warning and got out of the way as soon as possible. Banjo ended up crushing Kazooie. He picked her up as soon as he got up and put her back in his backpack. Daxter got onto Jak's shoulder and Dark Jak tripled his size and strength and used the Dark Bomb, sending Banjo-Kazooie into the air while also reverting Jak to his basic form. Jak activated the Super Nova, fired a missile, and caused an explosion that obliterated the bird-bear duo once known as Banjo-Kazooie. Daxter: We should get out of here before the little one starts crying. Jak: Good idea. Jak and Daxter get on the JET-Board and leave. K.O! *'Jak and Daxter told Samos and Keira about their fight.' *'Tooty scooped up the feathers and fur that was banjo-Kazooie and starts to weep.' Results Boomstick: Tooty's gonna need a new bodyguard. Wiz: Banjo-Kazooie may have held a strength advantage, but it could only offer so much against Jak and Daxter. Boomstick: When it came to skills, Jak had the edge. Banjo and Kazooie were trained by some mole who couldn't even stop some petty witch, while Jak and Daxter were trained by a wise sage who has plenty of knowledge about Precursors and Eco. Wiz: And while Daxter isn't the perfect sidekick, he is a far more capable sidekick than Kazooie is. Boomstick: But Wizard, we didn't include the vehicles from Nuts and Bolts! Wiz: To be fair, we didn't give Jak & Daxter all the Morph Gun functions, the Gunstaff, or even Dark Daxter, who would definitely make things tougher. Boomstick: And while Banjo is known for taking on magic users, Eco is something that he wouldn't exactly be able to handle due to the stat boosts. Plus, Dark Jak was just overkill. Wiz: Banjo-Kazooie are effective fighters, but only when working together. Separately, they're not as strong. In contrast, both Jak & Daxter are perfectly capable of fighting on their own. Both duos have their fair share of skills, but Jak & Daxter's superior skills, weapons, and abilities put an end to the bird-bear duo. Boomstick: Jak & Daxter could play this Banjo as easily as a Kazooie. Wiz: The winners are Jak & Daxter. 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